News

A news sense is really a sense of what is important, what is vital, what has color and life - what people are interested in. That's journalism.
- Burton Rascoe

In a medium in which a News Piece takes a minute and an In-Depth Piece takes two minutes, the Simple will drive out the Complex.
- Frank Mankiewicz

Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news, it's to get people mad enough to do something about it.
- Mark Twain, 1835 - 1910

The American mind, unlike the English, is not formed by books, but, as Carl Sandburg once said to me, by newspapers and the Bible.
- Van Wyck Brooks, 1886 - 1963

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
- Dave Barry

Douglas Adams

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasnt the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
- All from Douglas Noel Adams, 1952 - 2001

About:
Douglas Noel Adams was born at Cambridge, England on 11 Mar 1952. After earning both bachelors and masters degrees there, he did some comedy acting and writing, including work with a couple of the Monty Python gang, and eventually wrote a radio series for BBC called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." It first became a TV series, then a book. Actually a trilogy, which means that there are three volumes, except that this one has five. It had some science fiction elements, there's a dash of philosophy, but it was comedy. Here's a sample.

Kick

Would you kick an opponent when he was down? Yes, if I thought he might get up.
- Edmund Rouse

When life is kicking others in the teeth, become a dentist.
- Kevin Meyers

Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.
- Walter Winchell, 1897 - 1972

In order to acquire a growing and lasting respect in society, it is a good thing, if you possess great talent, to give, early in your youth, a very hard kick to the right shin of the society that you love. After that, be a snob.
- Salvador Dali, 1904 - 1989

Any jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build it.
- Sam Rayburn

I kick myself a little bit because I'm always worried. I'm trying to put my insecurities away in the sense of just letting things take their course.
- Christopher Atkins

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.
- Dale Carnegie

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
- Walt Disney

Women

To lose the touch of flowers and women's hands is the supreme separation.
- Albert Camus, 1913 - 1960

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Aristotle Onassis, 1906 - 1975

The allurement that women hold out to men is precisely the allurement that Cape Hatteras holds out to sailors: They are enormously dangerous and hence enormously fascinating.
- Henry Lewis Mencken, 1880 - 1956

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women - and so little time.
- John Barrymore, 1882 - 1942

Men's minds are raised to the level of the women with whom they associate.
- Alexandre Dumas, père, 1802 - 1870

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.
- Robert Graves